Vulnerable

I'm feeling a bit vulnerable right now.  I'm not going to lie.  God chooses to reveal Himself at given times that over time might make more sense to me.  In the moments that He hides are the ones that leave me a little off; when things don't make sense and are hard.

I have desires in this world.  Somewhat reasonable too, maybe.  I want to be safe, live comfortably, want to be loved and even liked.  I find time and time again, though, that when I look to the world to fulfill these things that time and time again I will be let down.    Since I found out I will be able to go to Africa next August, I don't know if I can explain the things that have been happening.  I've realized that some people won't get it.  I want to sell all my things and move tomorrow, but they don't see why.  I've prayed for Christ's heart and this is one thing that has really burdened me.  I can't not go (double neg., I know!).  I don't know the details on how this will all work out, and honestly, it scares me at times.  It is a God-given desire for me to want to go so there's no option to skip out on this one.